Ashes Poetry - cricket

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David Fine, Ashes poet in residence in Australia 2006-7

England vs Australia.
Brisbane, Adelaide, Perth, Melbourne, Sydney 2006-2007

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Monday, November 27, 2006

Brisbane Estimates

At no little effort Ashes Poetry has installed the highly expensive and wonderously temperamental but surprisingly semi-accurate End of Play Guesstimator. On the first day it got within two runs of the final score, without knowing who was to bat, and the overestimation of wickets was probably due to inbuilt Pommerisation bias as was the over-estimation of runs on the second day. The third day estimate did not factor in green baggie dust-grinding. Disciplinary recalibration has now been completed by Professor Fiffle-faffle of the University of Bent, which gave a fairly close estimate for the end of Day 4.

These results are tabulated below, and have been used by the University of Bent's Department of Sporting Clairvoyance to add additionality to the additions:-

Day One Stumps 7 for 348 - not sure who to - actually 3 for 346, close with the runs at least
Day Two Stumps 174 for 3 - am sure who to, needing around 300 to avoid the follow-on - actually 53 for 3 a 'slight' overestimation of runs scored and required

Day Three Stumps 84 for 2 - still in with a chance in the dog-house actually 181 for 1 but 84 for 2 would've have been slow yet not too bad had England followed on

Day Four Stumps 242 for 3 - the Greatest Escape since Moses split the sea and led the chosen people from Egypt still on. Actually 293 f0r 5, England would prefer my estimate but may still do it with a spot of rain.

Professor Fiffle-Faffle has finished fiddling with his knobs to include cultural and climatic conditions in search of unerring accuracy - the End of Play Guestimator, the Hawkeye of Crystal Balls.

Day Five Estimates

End of Play Guestimator set at maximum Strine 310 all out before first drinks break.
End of Play Guestimator set at maximum Pom 648 for nine winning by one run and no balls to spare.
End of Play Guestimator set at maximum romance 647 all out on last ball match tied.
End of Play Guestimator set at maximum realism 404 all out 37 minutes after lunch.
England fell 37 runs short of being realistic
End of Play Guestimator set at maximum precipitation - rain stops play for the day with England nine down and still needing at least a session or two hundred to save the match.

Invited to discuss following on about invitations to follow on, the learned and august Professor does not believe that the Ponting Factor - batting way past your bedtime and the point of reason - can be mathematically modelled, but like Fermat's Final Theorem it has yet to be proven it can't be.

Oh yes, the poetry. I'm still saving Mr Bowden regrets to say he won't be raising his finger today for the great England fightback as told in The Ascent of Mount Gabba 1 & 2